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10 Proven Ways to say “Fuck You” to a Fan

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F -orget to give a good performance.

We get it. Nine times out of ten you worked that day, had a show the night before and another one the next night. You are tired, exhausted and you want to go home and put on your pajamas. Your caffeine high is coming down and the promoter promised the house would be packed but it’s about ten people in there including the promoter and yourself. Now stop and ask yourself this…

”Is that our fault?”

U -se up your time trying to force us to like you.

Artist set themselves up for failure by publicizing their accomplishments right before their music drops. It is one thing to get some really exciting news and have to share it before you bust. It is another to announce every great thing that has happened in your career before every show.

C -all yourself better than every other performer in the room.

Rapping is a bragging sport but you have to do it with finesse. Remember…most of the audience has a cousin who raps and if it is an underground showcase then they are there to support him.

 K -eep your name and contact information a secret.

I always think twice about following a rapper who has his Twitter and Instagram set to private. I mean isn’t your goal to become a public figure? You may want to practice opening up a little. The same goes for getting on stage

 Y -ou forget to give us something we can relate to.

Metaphors and similes are used in rap for a reason. They take a wide concept and narrow it down so that anyone can grasp the idea. That is what music has to do it. It is a 3 minute sum of emotion

O -nly connect while on stage.

Would you marry a girl after knowing her for five minutes? Gaining a real fan is like a less publicized marriage. A real fan stands behinds you, stands up for you, promotes you and supports you financially. If you come to a show right before your performance and then get off stage and leave, then there is absolutely no way you can gain a fan.

 U  -se up time giving a half ass show.

We know who has the glow. We can tell from the time you walk through the door until the time you hit the stage. The underground circuit is pretty small so perhaps we have heard about you before so we have high hopes. When you give a half show it is like telling your audience we aren’t worth your all.

 F –ail to give them something they can feel.

I suck at names…always have and always will. If I attend a showcase with more than 15 performers, get out the club at 2 am and make it home between 2:30 and 3, I doubt that I am going to start researching rappers that night. It will probably be the next day or two days later at best. Make sure potential fans have something physical to take home even if it is just a business card or flyer.

A –lienate the crowd.

Don’t call the crowd dumb. Don’t say that they are dead. It is YOUR job to relate to them. It is YOUR job to wake them up. Calling them out is pointing out YOUR failure.

N –ame drop…

Nobody cares that you done a song with Trey Songs. Is he here now?

 

Why am I qualified to write this? Because I have witnessed these infractions multiple times and this is my way of saying eff you back.

 

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